Dear Daughter,

One thing that I’ve noticed is that you (and me sometimes, I have to admit) sometimes spend too much time worrying about what other people are doing, saying and thinking of us. The only one you should be focused on is you. It doesn’t matter what your friends are doing because that doesn’t impact your life in any way. The only impact it has on you is that you are wasting valuable time and energy being wrapped up in other people's lives. This is going to be important for you in college to ensure you don’t get distracted. Focus on you and what you need to do in order to accomplish everything you want in life. You deserve the best.

This, like everything else I’m sharing with you, is not easy. I’m working on it myself every day. It takes work like everything else is life. It takes focus, and consciously training your brain to pivot when it starts to wonder and think about people and trivial things. Like any teenager it is tough not to get caught up in gossip or to get upset and compare yourself to others. That is when you tell your brain to remember how blessed you are and be thankful for everything you have in life.

The key is to catch yourself in the moment when you get wrapped up in negative thoughts. Pivot your thoughts to focus on your own plans. What is the next step you are going to take towards your own goals? Having that question handy will help you moving from negative to positive thoughts. I use the same technique when your brother is scared at bedtime. We quickly push the scary thoughts of monsters to the side and start focusing on his favorite movie, start planning activities for this summer (the project management brainwashing starts early…! :) ), his favorite thing that happened that day, what is he thankful for. As soon he is sleeping like a baby!

So keep an eye out for those negative thoughts and pivot! It’s so easy….! ;)

Love, Mamma