Dear Daughter,
It’s that time of year again, Elsa, when many of us make new year's resolutions only to break them a couple of weeks later. I’ve been thinking a lot about what makes us reach our goals. I have a lot I want to accomplish this year, but honestly— I don’t believe in resolutions anymore. Those feelings of disappointment and guilt when you don’t reach a goal can be paralyzing and overwhelming. Rather than making a resolution, I’m setting a “focus” for my year instead. I’ve realized that one of the reasons I haven’t been able to stick to my resolutions in the past is because I lost my enthusiasm and focus after a while, and probably because I didn’t really want the change badly enough. After a while, I would forget that I made a resolution or it became too tough to stick to my goals, so I just gave up. That paralyzing feeling is awful— and I’m going to do everything I can this year to avoid it.
So what can I do to avoid the painful experience of failure? I’m going to write down what I’m going to focus on this year, and then I will start each day with reviewing that commitment and promise I’m making to myself. If I don’t make this commitment part of my daily routine and habits, it won’t stick. I know this from experience. I believe that setting a focus will allow me to embrace the day with a mindset of constant improvements versus potential failed tasks. I’m also going to think about how I’ve felt other times when I have stuck to my plan and met my goals. That feeling is amazing! I just need to keep my focus one day at a time, and I will be able to feel like that again.
Think about a time you accomplished a goal, Elsa, and what you did to be successful. What was it that motivated you to stay committed? Did you mention it to friends so that they could keep you accountable? Did you break down your big goal into smaller attainable goals? Do you in your heart know and think that you can reach your goal, or are you dreading another goal that you will eventually fail? It’s important to figure out your true feelings about your new goal, so that you can set up a successful strategy for yourself.
Looking back I also realize that fear has played a big role in me not reaching my goals in the past. Fear of failure is one of the biggest threats to our goals. You are so talented, Elsa, that I don’t want to see you settling for less than you deserve, just because you are afraid of failure. If you are honest with yourself for a minute, do you think the reason you haven’t gone for all of your dreams and goals is because you are afraid? Are you procrastinating and self-sabotaging yourself because you think you will fail again, thinking “Why even try?” Take the time to analyze the real reason, and set up a strategy.
What will your focus be this year?
Love,
Mamma
