Dear Daughter,

I miss you like crazy. It’s been over a month since we dropped you off at college and it’s feels like months. And this is after having visited you almost every weekend…

First of all, I never thought I would be in this situation. As I was growing up in Sweden, I would watch American movies when the moms are dropping off their children at college, or saying goodbye at the airport while crying their eyes out and I thought it was the most ridiculous thing, and yet here I am…Who would have ever thought that I would move to the US and have children here?!

I’ve shed a tear here and there, but not really cried, but I’m definitely going through a adjustment process. It’s just so quiet here at home, and I miss you my friend. I guess you can call it grieving. I can’t bring myself to think about that you will be at college for four years since it’s overwhelming.

So I wanted to document my thoughts and learnings so that I will remember when Stellan goes to college, or for you if you ever find yourself sending your children off to college.

Next time I will

Make sure my child starts cleaning up their room 2 months before they go to college so that they have time to finish it themselves…😉
Start my mental preparation earlier, and talk about it more to get used to the thought
Talk to Stellan about it a lot and prepare him for
- Potentially missing home
- How to deal with other student challenges (focus on himself and don’t get pulled into any drama) and to be mentally prepared
- Meal planning so that he has ideas for meals handy
- Start budget training now
- Create a budget so that he is clear on what he can spend on food and other expenses
Be nicer to myself through the process, and give myself time to grieve. Tell myself that it’s ok to take a pause from to-do’s and take a break
Remind myself daily that I have to let go and let them start finding their own path (easier said than done)